For me sex is love,
it’s your own
it’s duality
and it’s victory.
Movement, lust
and feeling.
A necessary aspect of life, and for your health too
integral human health
I don’t think it’s possible to have sex without emotion
Fun, orgasms...
and more fun
Sharing the best moments
Sex life has been more important with age,
more enjoyable
and more instructive.
Freedom,
you get to know better the person you are making love to
and enjoy it, and having a good time.
It depends who you are doing it with
if it’s your partner, or it’s pure fun.
What is sex?
Dubi, dubi!
I'm Urko, I'm Ilenia, Eleno, the Eloy of Urka…
I also have other names as a drag kings.
I don’t have only a name because that’s my position in relation to my gender.
I don’t feel comfortable in the categories neither of a man nor a of woman.
I think I don’t fit in any of these categories,
and all my names also talk about it.
My name, the name I have adopted, Majo,
comes from Maria José…
and I feel comfortable with it, it’s an ambiguous name.
If you are talking about someone called Majo,
you don’t know if it is a man or a woman, and I also like that.
Tomboy was the insult that marked my whole childhood.
I noticed I had to behave in such
a way didn’t feel comfortable to me.
Then, in the family, with your friends, at school,
you were told everywhere
how to behave.
It was traumatic…
it was a hard experience because you don’t really understand
why you can’t behave the way your brother
or your cousin do.
What’s going on? why can I not behave the same way?,
or why I can behave like this until a certain age,
but then you have to act like a lady.
And the worst part of it:
there comes a time,
when you take in this oppressive discipline in such a way, that you come to say:
I’m going to try to be more feminine.
Yes, I have felt the patriarchal oppression
because I'm a sexual person,
a society that has always called me a “slut”.
The postpornography that we do:
we give much importance to sexualising the whole body
beyond the genitals,
the reproductive organs.
Who likes conventional porn?
Do you like it?
I like it.
I like some things, but I don’t like everything.
The question is not if mainstream porn makes me hot,
the question here is to be aware that we are talking about that sort of porn,
and it is not the only kind.
We also have to take into account that desire is a construct,
and that means: if you have always been told which things are desirable,
and the bodies you are watching all the time in porn movies
are very specific bodies, in the end, it’s gonna be a constructed desire,
you end up desiring that, because you think that is the only desirable thing.
You need imagination to fuck.
Most people have been told that that’s fucking,
and it’s possible they don’t feel much pleasure,
but they don’t think that there may be other ways to do it
a plunger…
clothes pegs,
clothes pegs and panties,
this toy,
a vibrator dildo for the body,
this thing that scratches,
some decoration,
a feather duster,
another one of those,
this thing to poke,
a small ball for the body,...
We live in a society where some bodies are considered more valuable
than others according to some capacities
that are considered more valuable than others.
Those capacities are the productive ones:
if you are a productive body, you are valuable.
If you are not productive, you have no value.
There is no interest in our society for us, male or female monsters,
people who do not fit,
to reproduce.
-Does someone prefer a chair, someone prefers on the floor?
-I prefer on the floor
-Floor?
-Floor! -Ok!
-Here we go,
-What? -Here we go,
breaking the ice
eyes closed
we were all a bit scared
there’s always a degree of fear in sex
but not now
we breathe
I touch the stomach
It is not mine
It is not my body
all the hands
all the bodies
caresses
rubbing
whisper
laughter
holes where we can squeeze
no rush
we let our clothes be taken off, softly
we recognize each other
we get lost in the hands movements
let ourselves be pampered
let ourselves be loved
we can feel ourselves
I feel, you feel,
the “miracle of intunement”
be available
be you and me at the same time
stop being me to be a bit more of you
stop being you and be a part of me
we try other prosthesis
leather
feathers
whips
pegs
fingers where I cannot reach
pleasures I cannot do alone
we are more than one body
breathing
vibrating
more than one body united in pleasure
let desire break out
Desire
freedom to be sexual,
to be more at the same time
An assembly that it is not a whole
breakings
meetings
deviations
extensions
articulations
organs and mysteries
meeting
escaping from our everyday life
and calling it desire
surprised pores,
demanding and drinking
I try this and that
I enjoy
I dare
I have no fear
we talk
we laugh
we stay silent
we moan
sex is a serious matter
sex is laughing
floating
melting
give me a strawberry
here you have a needle
tie me up
suck me
play
let’s play
let’s dance this choreography of flesh,
matter, meanings and signs
this choreography is not a mash-up of fragments
this choreography is a dancing hook-up
a mass of bodies
united in pleasure
For me, sex means game, enjoyment,
experimentation and politics
For me, it is diversity,
imagination, pleasure-knowledge.
Sex is something natural, something that shapes us and conforms us
and covers all aspects of our lives,
sex in general, we are sexuate beings.
It is difficult if you have a connexion with sexuality, with the sexual part…
I don’t know if to combine, but to integrate that part,
because the answers from the outside, the looks,
and people’s reaction are like:
“what are you doing in this field?”
Sex is like meditation, pleasure,
pleasure for me, pleasure for my partner,
this is sex: pleasure.
-Come on, Ana!
Ana has been my personal assistant for 8 years already.
She helps me wake up in the morning,
get dressed and all these intimate things.
I have another personal assistant, or I can have it,
for other things outside the house,
whenever I need to travel or do other things.
The difference between Ana and Pama, or any other familiar
or person living with me is that
with Ana I have a...
-Ana, wait, this goes backwards
commercial relationship, which means that she works doing this
and the others are part of my family,
or are my partner…
let’s say, it’s a different role.
Because it is not his role,
I am responsible for
getting dressed, having a shower,
and I have to work it out myself!
-Ana, I’ll put my black dress on.
I’ve always liked being dressed up my way,
sometimes my hair is a mess,
but because I like the style.
And well, I like taking care of hair ,
but I cannot do it myself, and that’s something that really annoys me…
I have though this great comb,
and well, I can do my hair like this,
a bit messed up and
then I give this final touch.
What makes something sexy?
The tits' shape, the bottom, the face, the body,
if you sitting or lying?
I personally think, and so do also most people,
that we feel attracted to things
we cannot exactly define...
and I don’t think that they have to be categorized as those images
we are constantly being bombarded with,
I don’t think reality is like that.
Advertising wants to sell us a model
that does not correspond
with anybody’s reality,
not only people with functional diversity.
To me, Miriam is the first person like this.
I was with normal people before,
now it is normal,
sex is normal and it’s ok.
It’s true that sex initiation,
when you are a teenager, whether you are or not on a wheelchair,
is somehow complicated.
The fact that I am on a wheelchair
has made things more complicated for me,
because the idea I had about sex,
when I was 13, 14, 15, that is when you start thinking
about having a boyfriend and those things,
it was clear that to have sexual intercourse, you had to be an
acrobat or have a body that could allow you to have sex.
It took me a while to understand that sexuality
is something more complicated that covers absolutely everything,
and not only a standard way of moving.
Before it was complicated to do everything with women,
I was fast and strong and the woman was not strong and didn’t finish, and I finished…
it was difficult.
Now with Miriam, this body…
she doesn’t touch me, I touch her,
things are the way I like them,
the position...
I like this body.
And all this with meditation, quiet, soft.
He brings freshness to me, he has another perspective,
he comes from a different culture, a different point of view,
I was surprised by his way of seeing me,
sometimes when he talks to me or tells me…
the way he looks at me, it is something new to me.
Kamasutra helps a lot with the position,
in bed, I can from a position, from the other side,
changing position with kamasutra you can do everything.
What she can not do in sex, I can do it, and we can do everything.
When you have functional diversity it is more difficult
to flirt with someone,
because people don’t know
what we have,
it is because of the ignorance
of our society,
and all that makes it difficult
to get close to someone.
When I was young I discovered sexuality with couples,
girlfriends,
lovers,
just because I couldn’t masturbate myself.
I am Linda Porno, I am a sex worker,
I also work in the production of pornographic film
and as a professional dominatrix.
Why are you working on that?
well, first reason is obviously money,
for economical matters,
but the second reason was more personal.
For me it is also a political position,
from the feminism,
from my position as a person who has moved to other places,
I understand sex as a powerful
weapon of freedom.
When a person is sexually free
and does with its sexuality whatever he or she wants,
this person is hardly constrained by conventions
And it is a job that empowers me,
gives me money,
makes me feel good,
and I am also think I contributing politically:
defending body liberation,
for economical matters,
and freedom itself to do whatever we want with our bodies,
so that there aren’t any moral or political
commands to tell us how we have to behave in our intimacy.
Politics and the goverment broke into our bedroom,
they got into our genitals to tell us
how to behave,
it is an atrocious control.
Through the internet
I got in touch with girls
and I saw a website
and I felt very curious because I have never seen a domina.
because I have never seen a dominatrix.
I have had sexual relationships
paying and also without paying,
but now I was interested
in other ways of sex.
When Oriol asked me for a sadomasochism service,
it didn’t surprise me
because it is a very marginal practice.
Just because it is not conventional sex,
it is a very pleasant practice,
in which normally people like us who
have a complex and curious sexuality
end up very satisfied.
Yesterday with Oriol I felt he was
enjoying and I felt how he was wanting,
sweating, that happens to all of us.
That’s why I think sex is so powerful,
it is a universal language.
Society
considers people who have functional diversity
in a different way,
not like a man being.
-It is my first time,
so I ask you
to be careful
-Don’t worry, I will be very careful with you.
It is your first time in BDSM,
isn’t it? is it the first time?
-Yes
-Well, it is also the first time for me
with a person with functional diversity,
so I am also nervous.
-Okay
-You trust me,
and everything is going to be ok,
I will treat you well, we will start with a light level sado,
-Okay?
-Okay,
I trust you
-You’ll better do it, if not I’ll hit you!
-Great tits!
-You like it?
-Yes!
-You are really bad!
-I am very very bad,
especially when boys behave as badly
as you do!
Sex for me is
a pleasure
with the other person, with a girl,
that we understand each other,
with very good vibes
and good feeling...
It is culture and spirituality.
-Yes? -Can you open? It’s me!
-Hi!
-Well, can I have a coffee?
-And , how’s it going?
you have things to tell me, don’t you?
-Yes, yes, yes...
when are you going to the workshop about female ejaculation?
it sounds interesting,
you have to tell me about it… -I’m going tomorrow,
-Do you go to.... -ok, sure.
-So, tell me a bit about the workshop,
Is it called “orgasm”..
-oh, no! it’s called “cunt ejaculation”!
-ah! just like that!
-Yeah, just like that! -Cunt ejaculation
-In fact I have always thought that
this was a fraud,
the typical things that women are told to…
men are always the model and then you have to do
the same, don’t you
I have always thought that it was an someone’s invention,
the patriarchal system’s or something...
-I remember now
the other day someone told me:
“in the beginning I got scared,
I said: fuck, I am already kind of loose down there,
because I’m peeing all over myself”
-You see,
one good thing you have,
and you are pathologizing it...
and you say: "I lose control of my bladder
and I pee on myself, you know?
It is curious that everything happening to us,
women, is related to dirt.
On the contrary, when a man comes, he doesn’t care
if he gets everything dirty or not…
they don’t live it like something dirty.
-I think it’s related to visibility,
I mean you connect it with urine because you don’t know
that women can have something similar to men.
Don’t know if they talk much about them jacking off…
-Of course they do! even if they don’t wank!
-I remember now about...
a guy you met at the university…
-Yes,
-I don't remember his name.
-The one I liked a lot.
-Yes, you liked him lot,
but what did you like from that guy?
because honestly
I didn’t like him so much,
he was a bit stuck-up.
-The first thing that seduced me from that person
was his leadership,
his intelligence. -You mean: the power
-the power, yes,
that was the first thing that…
-well, now...
it is not the first thing that attracts me,
what makes someone desirable to me.
Now I realise that,
for example,
when I meet someone,
in the beginning I don’t know what this person does in life,
or what is its role, or anything…
the first thing that touches me in a person
and that can attract me or not is the smell.
Sex is for me one of the most important foundations
of the human being,
of every person.
It's a source of pleasure, a way of interacting with people,
of personal growth,
it's all that for me,
and nothing else and nothing less than that.
Lavapies quarter is a historical
neighbourhood in social movements,
there’s also a very strong neighbourhood network
and many different movements.
-Hello -Hi there
-Who are you, Chris? -Yes
When we made the call for the workshop,
we received some emails from people
with special needs,
with functional diversity,
who had interest in participating in the workshop.
Their bodies are not part of the norm,
bodies that are not a part of the society where we live,
that is a heterosexist, patriarchal,
and ableist society.
There’s then a lot of potentiality
when we work together.
-How lucky, Mertxe!
-Just enjoy it!
-So, then…
-Where’s your pelvis?...
-instead of doing it upwards, it’s done downward, isn’t it?
-In the anal wall
-there, there!
-There, like an upward movement…
-Like this? -Can you feel it spongy?
-of course! yes!, yes!
-How was that?
Why? Until now,
gushing has been invisivilized,
why stigmatized,
castrated in many occasions?
It’s the clear evidence that they are not interested.
There were people in the workshop that said:
“Look, I am 30 years old,
and the first time that I heard about this was
a year ago”
It is surprising
how the body is invisibilized, and the genitality,
and women’s pleasure…
There's very little information about it and very little knowledge on the matter,
above all from the clinical-medical point of view.
All the organs
not destined for reproduction are considered secondary
This is 90% of them
When I was born,
I was diagnosed as a woman,
and now I am in a transition process
and I identify myself with the masculine gender.
Sex is for me a space for creation,
a space where I feel free to experiment.
It’s a part where I can develop my creativity,
subvert codes, roles…
I don’t feel so comfortable if I do it out of the sexual context,
although I couldn’t say where sex starts
and where sex finishes.
Sex is very good,
sex is good to make love.
Without taboos and without obstacles,
and all honesty.
It’s a nice thing,
it’s natural.
Sex is the same as love.
It’s something nice,
you give pleasure to people.
Something I like,
something I like doing with my partner,
and it's fun.
It gives you pleasure,
to enjoy with your partner.
It’s natural,
and I would like to do it
but I don’t have the place.
I don’t really know how to start.
-When I go to bed,
I switch off the light,
under the blankets,
I touch myself
and I feel super good,
I feel…
I feel super good and I feel pleasure and…
but of course if I don’t have anybody to turn me on,
that’s why I want it.
-I do the same as Mónica,
when I get home, I go to bed and I take a nap,
not only to relax,
but to have my own pleasure,
I masturbate
and I get myself to orgasm,
and I get many times,
I get excited, I like it, I mean...
it’s very pleasant.
-When I come from the gym, I take my clothes off,
I get in the shower,
I put soap on,
and what I like the most is to touch
my leg,
up and then down,
then I get around here,
and I start touching myself,
but always with water and soap,
I start touching and when I go up
what I like touching the most are the boobs,
I start touching here and there,
I touch the neck, the ears,
I blow my hand,
or I kiss myself,
and what I like the most are the kisses on the neck,
this is so relaxing,
then my hair raising.
-I get horny with that on the neck,
because when someone kisses me on the neck
what I like touching the most are the boobs,
I get super horny,
I don’t know why,
but I feel happy.
-Sometimes I masturbate, sometimes not,
when I masturbate I feel pleasure,
I feel happy with myself.
-Look, pleasure is incredible,
until you get to orgasm,
and you stay there: pleasure, pleasure, pleasure…
man, in this life you have to know how to shag yourself!
-When I masturbate, I get tired.
-Then you should rest, Sergio!
But if I do it fast
or slow, I get tired.
-Do it slowly!
-Some of those films have sometimes their methodology,
but some sex films are often violent,
so they do it in a group, different types of sex,
not only the sex that we know,
they even put the whole hand inside…
I have heard that and I have seen it…
and that’s quite heavy!,
I don’t know how long can the woman resist like that.
-When I see I romantic film
or whatever it makes me feel horny,
when they...
are making love and all that,
I get hot.
-I really get excited with all the postures.
When I have seen it, I have practised
it, and I felt really good.
-But, with other girls or alone?
I haven’t done that yet, but...
it would be great!
-Pardon, I have done it,
but with a girl,
an amazing girl!
-But I don’t like those films because they are pure porn,
all the day long fucking,
but they are actors.
-The one she is lying and I am on her,
the only one,
but when she wants to do another position, she tells me.
-I’m ok with that one by now.
-I can be in the kitchen,
in the dining room, in the shower,
anywhere,
not necessary in bed or the missionary,
no no!
-We have a lot of imagination,
because we not only do the missionary,
I mean, I sometimes like to be tied up or things like that, games
I sometimes put my knee closer,
and he gets so excited!
that’s our own game!,
and we like it, he feels really good.
I like provoking him from time to time.
-When I had a partner...
he touched me,
kissed me with the tongue,
I got really hot with that,
but now I don’t have anybody.
-I just give her kisses, and massages,
because I haven’t dared yet,
I have to tell my parents first.
From the beginning
we have lived our son’s sexuality with unease,
because in many occasions we can't give an answer,
or simply don't know it.
Many other times,
it seems that we don't want to give the answer
that our disabled son is demanding us.
And she has not shownt it:
"mum, I like him,
and I want to be with him…"
because then we would have helped her,
at a point,
to go away or to come home...
But we didn’t push her either
as she might have needed.
With Arturo,
our son, the problem was basically
the masturbation,
and we had to correct that with the professionals at school,
and it was relatively easy,
We all helped him to avoid touching himself,
and if he has to do it,
we showed him where can he do it and where not.
But Maria wanted to get married,
to get married like her sisters
and she wanted to have a family and have children...
and of course I told myself: "My God, what can I do now…"
Then the psychologists gave us some advice,
and told us to sterilise her in the centre where she was..
After two years of legal permissions,
she had a tubal ligation done.
They have reproductive rights,
but I think they need to have all the information available,
that it requires responsibility
and some previous requirements
before the great responsibility of bringing a child to the world,
then we have to separate sexuality from reproduction.
Life is very complicated,
a lot of responsibilities,
maybe I was a lot on him
and that’s why he may not be so well prepared,
sometimes I think about it.
It could be normal for society that
one of our children has a partner,
even if he is not prepared because you don’t need a pass,
a certificate or a test
to allow you to live with someone,
Disabled people are always under judgement,
everything they do that
it is not done as we would like to,
the reason is always: That person is a disabled person.
Sex is a pleasure to enjoy with your partner and with yourself.
I don’t know how to explain it to you…
Making love,
you feel then more united to your partner,
that you are loved
and that they respect you a little.
I am not able
to have
sex.
Enjoy with your partner,
enjoy with yourself,
and if people think and want:
enjoy also with them.
It is the first time that I talk about this…
quite strange,
because at school I was taught a bit,
but know as I’ve heard about it,
it is strange to me…
a bit more confusing.
-Sole, shall we start? -Ok
-¡We star!
-I don’t know what I want to ask you,
I don’t know how far I want to get
with a sexual assistant.
-It ‘s fundamental that there’s a feeling
between you and me.
The fact that I can choose that person,
my future sexual assistant,
I think it’s vital.
-Now it’s interesting,
I don’t know, that you could lay me down on bed,
you could hold my hand and help me to go all over my body,
as much as I can,
and of course I obviously want to feel you
because there are some parts
I can’t reach if you don’t help me.
- Come on..?
-And the neck, I can’t reach there yet,
hold my arm, if you want to try, but I think I can’t reach it.
-No way, I can’t get there.
-A bit upwards,...
-Ups, no!
-On the neck!, no!
-Not at all on the neck!
-On the stomach, yes, to the breast
-Yes
-That’s great!
-Can you go over again?
-Is it good?
-Yesss...
-now yes, I’m going to stroke the thigh
-A bit
-I have a very soft hand!
-It’s great!
-So soft...!
-I love!
-Didn’t you know?
-No!
-Damn! that’s what I always say
-As I haven’t really touched my self, I didn’t know how my hand were…
-What a sensation!
-Could you touch the face, the neck…
I can’t reach them, can I?
-Wow...!
my nipple!
-So good!
well...
-I have never touched my nipple before.
-And you have two!
-The other,...
-Hi, how is it?,
look! I can!
-That’s good!
-Let’s see if I can touch myself more in the front.
-Wow, what a sensation!
-It’s amazing!
-It’s real.
-Touch again my nipples,
get my hand closer
-Hey, it’s so beautiful to touch yourself!
-Could you also touch the face and the neck a bit…
-I can’t reach there…
-Your hands are divine to do this.
-The hair too, I’ve never touched it
-Bring your hand inside the knickers.
-Press it a bit…
-Like that!
-Why would a person who needs help be sexually limited?
-no way!
that’s why I’m interested in all this,
that’s why we are doing this video,...
that’s is showing where we really are.
-And the fact that we can give visibility to all this,
it is important...
that people with functional diversity discover it,
because sometimes we don’t know
what we can ask
and it is also our right!
-Goodbye!